Excerpts from the Silver Linings workbook
A passage from the introduction of Silver Linings
life and money
You’ve no doubt heard the saying “Money makes the world go ‘round” and it’s true that we live in a money-driven world now. It is no secret that having money in your pocket, purse and bank account just makes life easier, right?
When you have enough money to get by, you have the feeling of being OK. With enough money, however much that is, you are relaxed and don’t have to focus on budgeting all the time. You can go out to dinner, buy things for the kids, splurge on a vacation, and generally get on with life. On the other hand, if you are suffering a lack of abundance, for whatever reason, you probably don’t feel OK about yourself or your situation. Things have changed in the economy of this country, and things have changed in your life. I’m sure some things have changed in your head and heart too--not to mention the bottom-line changes in your pocketbook. And then there’s the shame of it all if you are blaming yourself.
It doesn’t matter why you’re temporarily suffering this lack in your life—maybe you were laid off, got sick, or bad money decisions caught up with you. The outcome is was the purchase this eBook and your need to move on with your financial and emotional recovery. Let me start by telling you what it isn’t: Silver Linings isn’t a program about loan modification, investment strategies. Nor is it a lame attempt to rip off Suze Orman—I respect her, and wish she and her no nonsense advice, had been around when I was younger. My life would have been different--but I wouldn’t have had the experiences that drove me to help you with this ebook.
Instead, Silver Linings is a journey inward, a personal experience that--when you jump in and follow the program--you will find yourself more centered, empowered, self aware, and better off to deal with your feelings, your money, your creditors, your family—and the daily travails of your life after your financial recovery.
Here's a workbook exercise from Chapter 2
To hear Jean-Louise Jirik present this exercise, click here
chapter 2. introducing emotions:
“self meet emotions; emotions meet self.”
Your first workbook exercise: check in with yourself:
How are you feeling? I’m asking for real and your answer better not be a thoughtless “fine”. Seriously, what and how are you feeling right now? Scribble something here on this line:
How easy was that for you?
If you had trouble with this question there may be two very logical reasons. One or both may apply to you.
Out of practice? You don’t usually keep tabs on your emotional state. No surprise here, many many of us don’t.
Can’t describe it? You may simply not have vocabulary at hand to describe your emotional state. Again, no surprise.
Look at your answer above. Is it a thought word like “confused, bored” which really describes a mental process, or a real emotion like fear, happiness, etc? Most people who do this exercise for the first time come up with mental processes and not real emotions so you’re in good company if you do too. If you have an emotion word, you are ahead of the game. We are going to do an exercise soon to further your emotional evaluation and goal setting.
When we have big enormous problems, we are forced to focus on the looming problem at hand for moment to moment survival--especially if you have creditors calling you all the time. Why does everything else become unimportant? Because for survival we MUST focus on the problem and make it go away. Unfortunately we sacrifice ourselves and our relationships in the process. When we ignore ourselves, there is often heck to pay because it will result in extremely negative behaviors such as:
- Drug addiction
- Alcohol addiction
- Domestic violence
- Self mutilating behaviors
- Suicide
It helps to know where you’re coming from emotionally in the moment because it keeps you grounded. Staying grounded and present in the moment will help you and your family get through this.
A relaxation reading from Chapter 6
Your first relaxation reading: Locate yourself in as quiet and calm place as possible. If you were in my office, I’d put on some beautiful relaxing music and have you close your eyes as I spoke the words for you. You would have nothing to do but listen and take a well-deserved moment to yourself. You deserve this little time to yourself so take a couple of minutes now to read and visualize with this beautiful meditation.
1. germination of new awareness and beginnings
Picture an unopened flower bud on a stem, ripe with possibilities and destined to become a beautiful fragrant blossom. Today is the day your flower opens. The delicate first petals begin to unfold as a honeybee approaches to drink the sweet nectar. One sparkling drop of dew, still upon the petal, catches the light as the bud unfolds and opens to the warming sun.
This is the moment of the quickening, the moment of the blossoming, the moment of the opening of possibility. This is when the bright promise of what will be is contained within what is--but softly, quietly as the silent wink that is a tender invitation.
It is at this moment of the day, the week, the month or year, the relationship, the enterprise, the lifetime… It is at this moment while the early morning’s dew still glistens and the unfolding and arising to wonder and beauty has begun. It is at this moment that you must pause and savor, take a deep breath and appreciate all that is. Feel gratitude for life and its promise and beauty right now, at this precious and fleeting moment.
You’ve had this moment before and you will have it again. At this moment in your romance, you savor each kiss and look forward to your next meeting with glorious anticipation. At this moment in your marriage, you stay up all night talking. At this moment, you walked into your new home for the very first time and saw it fill up with dreams. At this moment, your child's face lights up in love and joy as you approach. At this moment, you begin to realize you may actually have a business after all. This is the moment that the sprouted seedling becomes viable and the potential sunflower is certainly going to be realized.
Breathe in the essence of this moment and savor it, feel the feelings of success, the relief, hope and joy while the dream is just now unfolding and blossoming forth. Do not let it pass unnoticed. Breathe in the feelings again, take two more nice breaths and congratulate yourself for getting this far.